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lyrics

So it took you a few days to clean up all the trash. The plastic cups, the paper plates, the half-empty bottles. And it took you a few weeks to fathom what you’d done. So now he knows. And you hope there is a way to make it all go back to how it was with him in the dark and you in your head.

You ignore your mom’s call when you see the number. Your best friend does the same to you.

You didn’t mean to break it up. You didn’t mean to kick them out, but so it goes. And what choice did they have anyway? What could possibly be said if they stayed?

Your carefully-worded text goes without an answer. Oh, how the roles have reversed! Your best bet failed to produce something more than nothing. So much for trying to pretend you were misunderstood.

Oh, you know what you want him to say. Oh, you repeat it to yourself all day. Oh, your head aches for it, aw but words can’t be implanted in someone else’s mouth. Oh, you go to a movie on your own. The red wine and valium ensure that the cold light of day brings you back to relive it. It takes everything you give. You’re back to relive it. It takes everything you give it and more.

Half-truths and outright lies. Bury the truth to light. Curtains always drawn. Dishes in the sink. Tell yourself, not today. Tell yourself, not this way. Breaking swells of fear and doubt. Breaking swells that seek you out.

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from Notify Your Friends: Everything Ends, released September 10, 2013

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Paul Gonzenbach Seattle, Washington

lovers weekend records

seattle, washington

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